


Break Me One More Time

by omgspnfanfiction



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Abandonment, Angst, Angst and Porn, Biting, Character Death, Comfort Sex, Dead Dean Winchester, Dean Winchester Dies, Depression, Doggy Style, Drunk Sex, Emotionally Repressed, Erotic Gif, Explicit Gif, F/M, Heartbreak, Minor Dean Winchester/Reader, Minor Ruby/Sam Winchester, NSFW, NSFW GIF, Original Character(s), Pain, Reader-Insert, Rough Sex, Sad, Sad Sam Winchester, Sam Winchester is Not Okay, Sam Winchester on Demon Blood, Sam isn't himself since Dean died, Sex, Smut, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex, being in love with Dean Winchester, emotionless sex, fucking to forget, porn gif, sad sex, sex gif, verge of pain sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-22
Updated: 2019-11-22
Packaged: 2021-02-18 01:43:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,622
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21519862
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/omgspnfanfiction/pseuds/omgspnfanfiction
Summary: After Dean dies, Y/n and Sam are left broken and devastated. One drunken night gets them to fuck out their sadness, trying to feel anything even if it's just meaningless sex.
Relationships: Dean Winchester/Reader (Mentioned), Dean Winchester/You, Sam Winchester and Y/n, Sam Winchester/Original Female Character(s), Sam Winchester/Reader, Sam Winchester/You
Comments: 2
Kudos: 127





	Break Me One More Time

**Author's Note:**

> My first more angsty based fic, its basically just feeling empty after death with some rough sex added in there. Not exact show details. Set after season 4, before season 5.

He was gone. You still couldn’t believe it. You honestly thought you’d find something to get him out of that stupid deal he made. Half of you always expected him to walk through the door and say it was all some dumb joke, but he never did. You never even got to tell him how you felt about him, you were always so scared to get rejected. Now he was truly gone, and you hadn’t been able to feel anything since. Everything felt numb, there was no laughter, no tears, no anger, there just wasn’t anything. It all disappeared, he took it with him the second he left you. All he left was emptiness.

Sam wasn’t doing much better. He was angry and drinking more than you had ever seen in all your years of knowing the Winchesters. He’d go out and drink all night, coming in the middle of the night to your shared motel room and passing out cold. You tried to help him, but you could barely deal with yourself, let alone another person. It hurt to be around Sam, he was the only thing you had to remind you of _him_ , but it also felt like you hadn’t lost everything having Sam with you.

One night you decided to drink with Sam, you both got drunk in your room, passing a bottle back and forth. Pretty soon the two of you were drunk and you couldn’t stop laughing at some video on his laptop.

“That’s the first time I’ve heard you laugh in a while” Sam said his words sounding a bit slurred. You turn your head and find his face right next to yours, already looking at you.

“Haven’t really had much reason to” You say shrugging and looking away, a deep sadness filling you for the first time in a while. God, it hurt. “What about you, haven’t seen you sober in a while”

“Don’t” he said standing up off the bed

“You’re the one who brought it up”

“Yeah, well now I’m ending it”

“Sam, you know he wouldn’t have wanted this”

“Well he’s not fucking here anymore is he” Sam yelled at you from the front of the bed. You jerked at his words, they were cruel and made you feel as if you’d been slapped in the face. Jumping off the bed you walked towards the door, you couldn’t do this anymore.

Sam grabbed your elbow as you reached the door, stopping you from leaving. “Shit, Y/n, I didn’t” He didn’t finish his sentence, not knowing what to say.

Staring at each other for a few seconds before he suddenly grabbed your neck and kissed you. You were shocked but the alcohol in your veins wasn’t, allowing you to ignore everything and kiss him back. A rough pull on his hair got him to lift and wrap your legs around his waist and as he moved you towards the wall.

Nothing about it was sweet or gentle like the Sam you knew, it was hard, rough and dirty, no emotions. It was just two people in deep pain trying to forget it all by using one another to do so. Instead of kissing, it seemed more like you were trying to attack the other, only teeth and biting involved. Both of you trying any stimulation to escape the darkness.

He sucked on your tongue as he roughly undid your jeans and pushed his hands inside your panties. Rubbing your clit, he started sucking down your throat, leaving dark marks in his wake. He only separated from your throat for a moment to lick his fingers. There was no gentleness, only a quick insertion of his fingers inside you. You couldn’t help but moan at the intrusion, putting your mouth to his throat and biting down to keep yourself quiet. He moaned at the roughness of your mouth on him, moving his fingers quickly inside of you, trying to get you ready for him.

Once he deemed you were open enough for him, he stopped. The pause gave you a split second of clarity and you wondered how different he would be if you cared for each other in that way if this was anything more than reaching for some form of comfort. You knew he was a total dom in bed, motel rooms have horrible walls that hear everything, and rooming with the guys for so long you knew how they were with their conquests. Sam was never the type to not give a girl at least one orgasm to open her up for him. You could honestly say you were happier this way, you didn’t want what he gave to those girls, because you both knew this was just a way to feel whole again, even if it was only for a brief time. The person you loved more than anything in this world was just ripped apart from both of you and you both needed this.

Removing his hand from inside you, he turned you and threw you on the bed, bringing you back to the moment and out of the darkness that was your head. He got naked quickly as you removed your jeans and shirt just as fast. Grabbing at your legs, he pulled you to the edge not even bothering to wait for you to remove your bra or panties. He just turned you over, so you were on your knees, and pulled your panties to the side. Rubbing his dick on your pussy, coating it with your wetness before inserting himself inside you.

You were thankful for him fingering you before as he was huge, but you liked the burn, you needed the burn, it was the only thing grounding you at that moment. Without it you would be back to the numbness, this allowed you to feel something, even if it was this way.

As soon as he slid all the way in, he gave you a moment, both breathing hard, his head leaning against your neck. You clenched around him once you were ready and he did not go slow. He gave you what you really needed at that moment. No slow and easy, it was hard, and it was fast. He pounded into you with all his might, grabbing hard on to your hips, knowing you’d find bruises tomorrow, but it was worth it.

Burying your head and grasping the sheets to muffle your moans, you could feel your heart racing, sweat pouring off both of you. All you could do was moan and hang onto the sheets, trying to meet his thrusts, feeling him as deep as he could go. The only noise in the room were your muffled moans and his ragged breaths. He was getting closer and so were you.

Finally, he reached around you with one hand and rubbed at your clit once more. That gave you what you finally needed to cum, squeezing hard around his dick and screaming into the sheets. He came at the feeling of you tightening around his dick and bit into your shoulder to quiet his own moan. You screamed again as another small jolt went through you at the feeling of being bitten.

The two of you stayed there for a minute, catching your breath before he pulled out of you and went to lay down in the bed next to you. Your heart was still racing as you laid there, exhaustion catching up quickly and soon everything went dark as you fell asleep.

The next morning you woke up to an empty room and a note on the bedside table from Sam.

_Y/n,_  
_I’m leaving, I can’t do this anymore, not without Dean. I’m sorry I didn’t wait around for you to wake up and left like a coward, but I couldn’t look you in the eyes and tell you this. You would’ve convinced me to stay and fight with you but I’m giving up hunting and I want you to do the same. Dean wouldn’t have wanted you to stay in this life, he wanted you to have a nice apple pie life and he’s right you deserve much better than cheap bug-infested motels. I regret ever dragging you into all this. Last night, was a huge mistake, something that should have never happened, I’m sorry I used you that way. I betrayed him. Please take care of yourself and find the happiness you deserve._  
_I’m so sorry for everything,_  
_Sam_

You didn’t bother to call him, knowing he probably got rid of his number so you couldn’t find him. Packing your bags and heading off for Bobby’s house, Sam was crazy if he thought you’d stop hunting just because he left you. You planned to continue going because once again you were left alone by someone you cared for and once again all you could feel was a numbness that spread through your entire body.

It wasn’t until later that you found out the real reason Sam left you behind. He had still been in contact with Ruby and had been sleeping with her all those nights he went out drinking and came back late. She had gotten him hooked on demon blood and he was using his demon powers again.

***

A knock on the door caught your attention and you made your way from the kitchen, thinking it must be someone for Bobby. You had gotten pretty used to people stopping by at all hours of the day looking for him. Opening the door, a gasp escaped your lips as you felt the first tear in fourth months make its way down your cheek. Everything came flooding back to you, everything you had repressed for months.

“ _Dean?!_ ”

**Author's Note:**

> If you ever want to chat or have suggestions go here, [My Tumblr](https://omgspnfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/184996739213/masterlist)
> 
> If you enjoyed what you read, I'd really appreciate it if you wanted to help me out, [Treat Me To A Tea, Please](https://omgspnfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/184996739213/masterlist)


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